Wednesday, December 27, 2006


Each day passes by with hopes, dream and prayer for these journey. No high expectation except for the safe and easy delivery. At this moment the baby is still playing hide and seek...won't reveal the truth yet...

Each day this belly have to bear with cocoa butter and sometimes just a home made minyak selusuh...

Each day it is not just plain water to sooth the throat but air mossafa, air akar fatimah and also minyak selusuh plus milk with a pinch of safron
To hubby: I don't have a special birthday present for u this 30th Dec, but all I could give is this little angel...a belated birthday gift

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Love is a great thing that could happen between two heart...what makes it even more special is a relationship that connect not only two person but also two family, two different world and belief

And today, once again we celebrate this memorable day with meaningful smile and big grand celebraition or candle light.....but we gave each other what we've been expecting for the last three years

To hubby : I love u so much, nothing is more important than having u around

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Bob the builder or Barbie ?

Should I be excited or just calm down and take a deep breath and just prepare myself, it's gonna be 1 month from now..I'm almost 36weeks now with strecth mark started to apprear and it was shocking for the first looks like a cracked and dry paddy field in Kuala Sala.

Almost everything for the newborn has been prepared..mostly in nuetral colour since we don't have a clue whether this baby is a pink or blue tag baby... :-)

Lately we've been communicating a lot thru kicking and moving around..and even sometimes there's sound 'tick' whenever the baby it normal ? Insyallah, as long as the baby is healthy and moving and kicking and whatever she wants..that should be fine..

p/s I should thank this lovely person with a warm smile all the way from faraway land of Istanbul for the Cotonel Baby stuff..thanx Simah

No more talking to the wall today, hubby is coming back from Kuantan, MIL and family will be arriving from Penang at 3pm and tomorrow there'll be another 3 family coming..there'll be 25 people in this house and I don't have an excuse that I haven't been socializing enough now...fuhhh..25 people, hopefully I could be hospitable enough...the best thing is I don't have to cook but just request...from my MIL...I think the baby wants to eat Nasi Tomato and udang masak merah..should be in the list :-)

Monday, December 11, 2006

A month of celebration

December as usual is a busy month for me, when we were small this is time that we spend in Langkawi..kutip siput, in university it was the beginning of new semester..and last three years I was busy preparing myself for the big day..Each year December is a month of celebration, our anniversary which is just around the corner, followed by hubby's birthday just before this coming AildilAdha...

While busy with the arrival of little angel, we, on hubby's side are also preparing for the new addition..another menantu in the family all the way from Alor Gajah.
The enggangement will be on this Sunday, and here I'm with the deco for the hantaran boxes, the colour scheme is gold with mixed of cream. I'm gonna prepare the sirih (no more sirih junjung) and fruit's basket, but the fruits will be brought from Penang- Road Walk to be precise since MIL wants them big and fresh.

I'm excited to attend these ceremony where I'll have a chance to 'suap gula' to the 'ponu'- the bride after the exchange of enggagement ring. Normally the bridegroom side will bring sugar in decorated bowl but only female relatives are allowed to feed the bride..I don't know what is the significant but just follow the tradition.

Happy Holiday to everybody!!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Pakat-pakat mai kenduri

Last two weeks holiday was spent mainly visiting family in Kedah and Penang, that was my chance since hubby was away to spend more time with my family. Attended a kampung style wedding in Jitra where the celebration took nearly 4 days from preparation until cleaning, no caterers or wedding's all what they call 'pakat', where they have a committe to handle from A-Z. It has been a tradition where one family will give (tanam) something to the host such as potato, chillies, rice, sugar even bunga telur and the secreatary will write down those particular complete with quantity. So the next time their turn come the cycle goes again and normally they will return the same thing.

The whole ambience looks welcoming and cheerful with people erecting tents two days before the wedding, women preparing meals for men, some were sorting was like a whole village celebration, tikar mengkuang was laid outside for the women and few men busy tying a poor cow at the back of the house. The host was busy checking things whether it's enough or not for the workers (bentara) and at the same time still receiving goods from neigbours.

A day before the wedding, the house were full with people preparing breakfast, lunch and dinner for the helpers, it's not even a wedding day but the house looks different with bunga telur of different colours at one corner and the smell of ikan talang, spices, fresh banana shoot fills the air..At nite, most of the work were concentrate mainly inside the house where the pelamin will be decorated,.. living in a village gave them no problem of space where their kitchen and hall are double the size of urban houses. At one corner women were preparing bunga telur and goodie bags for the bentara, this bag usually contains bunga telur, sweets and traditional kuih especially kuih bakar and kapal terbang.

Meanwhile there were few people outside cooking nasi lemak and sambal tumis for tomorrows breakfast or what they call 'nasi menyorok'..this meal is actually for the helpers as well, that means this style of wedding is really tiring, I don't think people in urban area could still manage to gather people and expect them to commit like this..and we have to bear the fact that our house will be a mess..!! but they have no choice coz it has been a tradition to 'pakat' rather than hiring a caterer otherwise no one will attend your wedding!

The main dishes were prepared early in the morning of the big day, one cow for one type of menu, so it was beef curry cooked in three big kawah, chicken and ikan kering were in the list for those who don't eat beef, acar nenas, acar mangga and air sirap. The beef curry looks different maybe becoz the kawah and the banana shoot, the gravy were a bit greyish but it taste just fine...and the wedding last until midnite and the next morning it is the host turn to work hard cleaning up the house...and counting the plate, fork and spoon for the next cycle next week or next month....

Saturday, November 25, 2006

A journey not to be remembered

9th Nov 2006
Everything went smoothly, all documentation has been checked and approved and I was called to the boarding gate to check my document again. I only hope that today gonna better, get myself the best seat in the front row next to the window and infront of the main door.

This is it..I thought that everything will be as scheduled, but then I saw something that I hate to start my journey with, the ground crew were having difficulty to detached the stairs from the aircraft, they keep on pulling and struggling for about 15 minutes until some passenger noticed it and start jamming the area to give a piece of advice or opinion...And I just wish that they change the aircraft, maybe I'm not patient enough but I was not the only one, the co-pilot too came and try to fix it and keep on swearing and blaming the ground crew. They finally succeed but came another problem when the Lady in red had a difficulty to closed the door, it won't attached, she keep on pulling and again the co-pilot came to rescue. It was a bad start, I was nervous, there were so many 'what if....' in my head, too much watching aircrash investigation. I tried to cool down and not thinking too much about it and enjoy the view, the cloud formation, the sea and suddenly there was a 'pop' sound from the door, the lady in red who was sitting right infront of me was shocked and looking at me and immediately alarmed the cockpit.Both of them suddenly choosed to stand at the other corner and suddenly I felt a gush of wind on my feet, maybe it's just in my head, I don't know..imagination run wild, at that moment I just keep on praying and rubbing my tummy.

23rd Nov 2006
Before I left home I prayed for my safety and my little one, after the last I became a bit nervous and protective. Again at Penang Aiport the same scenario running around and filling up the form.
I was waiting and prayed that today's journey are much much better with no technical problem until I got a phone call saying that it was raining heavily outside and they were worry about me. I noticed the ground crew were busy preparing umbrella for us, don't they have other option in this kind of situation? We were allowed to board the plane after 10 minutes delay, I was the first passenger who walked with that red umbrella and the other hand carrying nasi tomato for hubby. It felt very far since we have to used the back door, I walked terhuyung-hayang struggling with the rough wind and at the same time tried not to trip on the stairs.
I choosed the same seat even though the last incident were still in my mind. I don't know what to expect but it wasn't a good start especially the take-off and landing, it as too rough and bumpy, is it because the pilot is not competent enough or the weather to blame on or the runway was uneven..? I told myself that I'm not going to fly with them again or other airline when I'm pregant

I have survived many rough and dangerous incident but was calm and composed, but when you are carrying another Life inside you,the feeling of caring and protecting are stronger and that was why I cried like a baby when I finally saw my hubby waiting to take me home safely.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Now anyone can fly......except..

I'm supposed to be seeing the greenery of paddy field today but instead stranded here in Putrajaya and stuck infront of this slow pc again.I had a sleepless night, worry that I might miss my early flight back to Alor Setar,I kept waking up every hour checking the clock and finally arrived at LCCT at 6.00am with empty stomach, sleepy face and a small luggage. By the time theycall all passenger to line up I was eager to go to other side of the lane for elderly and pregnant women and not aware of the airline regulation.

I was asked about my pregnancy and when I mentioned that I'm 7 months (28 weeks), they refused to allow me to board the plane without any Letter from doctor saying that I'm fit to fly.........
My ante-natal checkup report stated that it's 30 weeks, but the hospital's is only 28, I have two due date, two checkup for one little baby.

This is an easy pregnancy but the Numbers makes me worry, based on LMP (which I never forget to jot down every month)it's supposed to be middle of January but based on hospital's record and scan the baby is due in February. Recent checkup the doctor write down that the size correspond to POG, which is in January instead of the date that he gave is in February. Everytime during ante-natal checkup, the nurse also have the same understanding whenever they read the hospital's report..
Am I the one who confused about all these medical terms and don't know how to interpret doctor's handwriting or is it technical error or even worst human error? I did my own calculcation based on hospital's date and the doctor's TCA, which I need to have another session of scan at 32 weeks, but the nurse gave another date which is totally different from what the doctor asked her to do, she put it 26th Dec which is 34 weeks instead of 32. When I checked with the hospital about the TCA, they changed again to 21st Nov, earlier but based on clinic's date.

To satisfied myself I managed to talk over the phone with the doctor, and he said it's ok whether its 32 or 34 weeks so I just have to come again on the 26th Dec.

But this morning I went again to the clinic to get that letter, the doctor said that it will be February and maybe the nurse didn't read it properly and she mentioned that I'm only 27 weeks today....If I knew that exact figure I will be happily enjoying my mom's lunch today coz at 27 weeks we can fly freely....

Another sleepless night in Putrajaya, little baby's journey need to be postponed

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Salam Aidilfitri

Eid Mubarak / Salam Aidilfitri / Selamat Hari Raya..The Big Day were celebrated with smile and tears, happiness and sadness mixed up, but the day started off bright and clear just like this lovely bunga raya
This year was a bit different with simple celebration and less menu but with big baju kurung to accomodate my expanding tummy :-O

What could be better to celebrate the day is the sky is clear and blue and the ground is green, Alhamdulillah we were given another chance this year to enjoy and appreciate this moment

Third day of Aidilfitri, and the mission need to bendang jugalah mereka, ditengah terik mentari terbongkok-bongkok mengubah semai..yang tua bekerja yang muda sibuk beraya, yang terpandang hanya dapat merakam.

whoever they are, we should be proud of them for their sacrifice, hardworking and every drop of their sweat

Orang ditengah bendang..tapi bukan 'orang-orang'

By this coming Aidiladha, the ground will change it's colour again and people will start fishing ikan puyu in the middle of the field and by that time I might be in different field struggling for the new year addition :-)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Wish and hope during Ramadhan

Ramadhan come and go each year with different memory and experience, and this year is nothing less, it is even better than before.Last two years when we attended Iftar with a bunch of friends, the scenario and ambience were different, there were time where there was a deep uneasy feeling, feeling left out especially when other people were busy introducing their pregnant wife or busy managing their kids on the table. That bonus question was something that I don't like people to ask me coz I don't have the answer, all I could say was, 'Its God's Will'..most of the time I just sailed along and forget about just being 2 instead of 3 or more...

And today at the table I try not to hear the same question again being asked to other woman and I try not be the centre of attention. Pregnancy is the second best thing after marriage and we can't avoid all the attention, praise, greet and question from people around us but I can't bear looking at the other women who still trying for years and one who just finished her second cycle of medication.Coz I've been there......I know how it feels

The journey isn't smooth as we expected, some people will get it as they wish but some have to wait and still waiting. What makes me strong each day through out this rough journey is the thought that God will grant my wish sooner or later, and having a supportive partner and family are essential. I remember buying books of 'How To..'and never miss Discovery or Nat.Geographic channel on this topic and of course this simple programme - Anita, where they featured HRH Tengku Puan Pahang who had the same experience, I even wait for the repeat just to see her face and listen to her courage. There was one article about her and the TAFF in Prestige Magazine and I read the section not twice but many many times just to give my self, support, motivation and courage and stop grieving but appreciate Life coz they are people out there who are even worst.

For these women I hope they will be stronger and may their wish come true and never stop dreaming and asking from Him especially during this Ramadhan.

(Last week during Iftar hubby told me that last year at the same chair in our dining room he prayed for this Gift..and this year his wish has been granted, I almost cried when I heard about it)

Monday, October 02, 2006

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

It just 5 minutes before the break, but my tummy has started singing keroncong and other unfamiliar song, staring at the colourful meal makes it even worst and not to mention the aroma of laksa that makes our heart race faster. When the time came it usually started of with kuih and then heavy meal until my tummy bloated like a melon.
By 8.15pm we are ready with telekung at the madrasah, most of the time the madrasah were occupied by elderly who have to climb up that steep staircase.And the men used an old curved concrete staircase.The small madrasah could only make up 4 saf for women, so most of the time I was pushed to the corner next to the window and could hear the 'tok tok' sound clearly when the call for Isyak prayer.
Most of these women will also bring their grandchildren and that was the time when we get to know each other.One thing that I like being in this madrasah is the smell of fresh flower normally bunga cempaka or what my grandma used to call - 'bunga chempa', they stuffed it inside their telekung maybe as a replacement for perfume and they also wear a fashionable 'bedak sejuk' on their face :-)
Everytime before we start out terawih prayer, Bilal will called out loud 'Safff..',a reminder to all to keep a close distance while praying rather than leaving a big gap, he will also asked the boys to proceed to the back but most of them will only play not pray.

..That was in the 80's, when most of the women that I met was about in their 50 or 60's and now living in Putrajaya, the scenario is different, no more sweet scent of 'bunga cempaka' and 'bedak sejuk'.We have a big mosque here with intricate design and motives on its dome and interior and the space is spacious where it could accomodate thousands of people. A grand interior and high decorative ceiling can't beat the warm and cosy even sentimental value of old madrasah.This mosque was design with many considerations in mind but it still failed to provide the comfort especially its ventilation, where central cooling system doesn't work well here, therefore many stand fan need to be provided and this lead to a big gap of Saf. People will comfortably find a space directly behind the fan, and when the prayer start they don't care to move forward, some will who understand will definitely change the position.

Things are different, this is not a small town where people know each other, no more hugs and kisses on cheek after the prayer, no sound of grandfather's clock in an old madrasah...But I will try to do the best since this is the first time Ramadhan and Terawih with a litle one inside kicking during the prayer.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Hijau Kuning Tanahku..

Kuala Sala, Kedah Darulaman :

When we were small going back to Tok's house in Kuala Sala were not something that we look forward mainly because of the transportation, there's no bus service in that village, that means the bus will drop us infront of the mosque and we have to walk for about 15 minutes to reach Tok's house. Along that short journey we will be greeted by ayah's relatives and friends and sometimes our journey were interrupted by cows who lazily lepak in the middle of the road.
For us it was really a very long journey but I realised now that I should not regret it, that was when I have the opportunity to discover a lot of things that could not be found in Alor Setar.
Kuala Sala is just a small village where houses were built parallel with the only main road that connect them to outside world. Each houses are facing the road and at the back are acres of paddy field, the best part of Tok's house is there's a small river after the paddy field and only a few meters walk we will reach the beach.
This small river is the important system for paddy field. There were many coconut tree at the back of the house that leaning towards the sea, and we will climb and sit on it while enjoying our freshly cut sugar sweet and juicy
This used to be my favourite area, this is where we play 'masak-masak' with my late aunt, we used hibiscus bud as chili, and cooked using coconut shell, this is also where I seek peace and hide from pain when I fell from the 'pangkin'(platform) while playing 'batu tujuh' with my cousin: Sharmi (Simah kenal kan..), Bani and twin Shoni and Shaki.I had a big bump on my left shoulder and was sent for traditional massage and it was so painful...:-(
In order to reach the paddy field we have to cross over few grave stone hiding in a bushes, Tok said "tu kubuq orang lama-lama, takdak apa aih.." but who wants to believe that? especially me who love to think that it's spooky..when the night came, we wil sleep with Tok and Ngah inside a kelambu while Tok will tell stories about her neighbours,it's kinda spooky because the only sound that we could heard is the waves and her low tone voice, she didn't scared us but the way she talk make me want to hide inside my blanket and fall asleep as fast as I can.

These are our precious supply of fresh coconut juice and milk. I like the way it grow reaching up to the sky, and here you are feeling small and scared, scared that the tree will get angry and start shooting it's cannon coco ball..

I think my interest in planting is inhereted or developed by my surrounding especially here in Kuala Sala people plant the same thing, it is a common sight, purple and green/yellow sugar cane, pelam sala and guava were plant at the front portion if the house, while colourful hibiscus will line as a fencing. Sometimes my grandpa (Wan) will brought back crushed seashell from his fishing trip and poured along the fencing and the entrance.
This lovely flower is a hit among kids where we could suck the juice, it comes in different colour.

When the place is dear to your heart, this is what you do, built a mosque and name it after your mother or father, this was built by Tan Sri Tajudin Ramli, the floating mosque with picturesque view of the sea..

Now living in concrete jungle seeing only grey sky makes me appreciate and looking forward to experience kampung life again, the last Merdeka trip while driving next to 'tali air' I saw an old man washing his shoe and an old wooden bridge waiting to fall down,not far from him there were kids fishing, laughing and enjoying their own game.
It was all green and green landscape with Gunung Jerai standing tall and proud complete the whole picture. I will come back when the next season start, who said we don't have four season?, in Kedah we have different season and the landscape change from island view, to serene green and then it turn into gold and finally light brown with smokes in the middle of the field.

I love the sun, the sea ,the moon, the waves...

The leaves swayed, the sun is going down and sometimes hiding behind the cloud, the birds fly......and I could only captured this moment and share it with everybody

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Intermission - Alor Setar

A travel journal during Merdeka Holiday.

Around town - Rumah Kelahiran Che Det. Jln Kilang Ais:

entrance to Dr.M's house in JLn Kilang Ais,Sbg Perak, Alor Setar. This area has become an exhibition complex with additional building to house further display item and info. This is the first time i visit this place even though our house is just 10 minutes away :-)
The verandah is a typical element found in this area where it act as greeting point.

rattan chair in Living area, the house is well ventilated with enough fenestration and fixed timber Louvered.

kitchen and preparation area with rack (para).The house divided into several main component: verandah, living, one bedroom (rumah ibu), guest room, kitchen and dining and a small washing area. Kedah house are different from others mainly on the composition and heigt as well as architecture, where houses were built one storey higher due to geographical condition and the culture itself.The lower ground normally will house 'reban ayam' bathroom and act as an open storage and preparation area.

Pekan Rabu:

One of the oldest market place in Alor Setar, situated aLong Jalan Tunku Ibrahim and next to Sg Raja, this complex has gone few renovation and extension since it was first built.Local and traditional item from food to cloth, cutlery, couLd be found here as well as stuff from Thailand like snacks and matt. The price are a bit expensive that why the owner could where big chunk of jewellery :-)

can anyone guess what these white balls are??

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The other side of the world: Part 2

Lets take a walk trough Kolkata town:

Kolkata map
further info : link

Cable Bridge (Vidyasagar Setu)

Howrah Bridge
Another historical bridge in Kolkatta crossing the Hooghly River, we were not allowed to stop by and snap any photo,so go to this this site for interesting history of the bridge :Howrah

M.P Birla Planetarium at Jawaharlal Behru Road - one of the largest single storey planetarium in Asia with Indian Architecture and imitation of Buddhist stupa

Interior of lobby area

Old building under conservation works using wood scaffolding

one of colonial building

Typical houses in Kantal Baria Road, Calcutta where it houses 3 or 4 family with clay roof tiles and mud floor. Most of the houses were built with bamboo as rafter and low roof with no ceiling. One courtyard is shared by these family.

Clay brick

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The other side of the world: Part 1...ctd

This is how it looks like before houses were built,there are parameter wall to demarcate each lot. the place that we stay used to be like this some 30 or 40 years ago. Next to it is a double storey house under construction, the steel bar will be left jutting out from the roof for future extension, i'm sure about the foundation of the building, whether they consider it or not.

Pukeri or pond with stagnant water and no overflow pipe or discharge, source of water, some who can't afford process water from authority will depends on this for washing, cleaning, bathing..there are even big fish in this pond, but you should know to really clean it otherwise the taste is unimaginable.

Notice how the women dress and how skinny the kids are, except for one family who are a bit wealthy. this is the entrance to Bhod Babu house, there is a gateway at the back leading to his house and other houses. The yellow house on the right side is the dhorji and Ghoro(Bhod Babu's son) house on upper floor. This is the only space which wider and the place where they greet us the first time and say goodbye. There is one water pump for the family here on the left side, imagine they carry the water up and down the house including one pregnant lady..pity

Women usually eat separately from men, where they need to serve their father, husband or uncle first. So here were women from two different world getting to know each other in Bhod Babu's room. We had a visitor that day so many food were served most of it were too sweet for my taste.

View from roof top towards the courtyard overlooking the pond.

Street vendor selling puchka serve with sour gravy that looks similar to budu, I don't dare to try coz he used his bare hand to insert the gravy inside the puchka. Puchka is a hollow fritters (?) made of flour and deep fried. If we think about hygeine and cleanliness then, India (not all) is not the place, people come here for the culture and history and the adventure and mystical as well as colourful landscape

Orange juice mixed with serbuk asam, so refreshing,they normally used 4 oranges to produce one glass of juice. This is in Calcutta town during our shopping spree.

Monday, August 21, 2006

The other side of the world: Part 1

As requested by Simah:

These entry is a glimpse into Benggali culture living in Calcutta based on my own personal experience and not a thorough research.

I think I shall start with the people themselves, we in Malaysia used to call people with turban as Benggali, but actually they are Punjabi(Singh / Kaur) and their origin are from Punjab, a different part of India. Benggali are from Kolkata or Calcutta, situated next to Bangladesh and Nepal.Their language is of course Benggali not Hindi,Tamil or Urdu, different part of India have different unique culture and so does the people, their skin, the language, their food, economic almost everything.

Some of them looks like Nepalese and Malaysian with brown skin tone and women still wearing sari and men in loongy (pelikat).Even though they wear white shirt or sarung it looks pale and greyish due to dusty condition and the water quality.

The place that we stayed was in a village near Bartala (a trading area with port)and I referred it as Chota Masjid Village (chota means small). Calcutta used to be British administration centre and then under Communist, so there are still evidence especially graffiti at shop lots. Bartala is so crowded and far from imagination. You could hardly see this in a movie except for Discovery/ N.Geographic documentary, if there is any. There are people everywhere and the ration is almost 40 people per one car on the street!!The road is in bad condition with no proper drainage and garbage collection point and people pee almost everywhere.

My FIL brother's house (Bhod Babu, Bhod means Big -> so big uncle) is only few minutes from this street and the car need to pass by a narrow road, at first it wasn't a great ride coz I was afraid that it could dive into a pool, there are pool (puker) everywhere in this village. This village is different from what we see in Tamil movie with buffalo walking slowly in a green field, houses with big lawn, but one similarity is one house is filled with 2 or 3 family.

It used to be a green field with puker but when the population increased houses were built closed to each other with 2 floor to accommodate extended family, besides most of the villagers are related.There are houses that separated only by 1 meter gap with no perimeter drain, no gutter and no toilet! Some who could afford might invest on this otherwise go naturel..But we were very lucky, Bhod Babu's house has been extended and upgraded to Malaysian requirement by my FIL, he don't want his menantu too feel kekok and face any difficulty.

Most of the houses are flat roof, the reason is when the son got married he will have to stay in that house and since land is scarce he need to go vertical. These flat roof is also a dry yard with 6 meters colourful sari hung from the rope down the first floor and a playground for kids especially for kite season. I don't know whether you could imagine this but it was surreal and beyond expectation..too far.

They are poor people but with warm heart and good hospitality, only men are allowed to work especially as tailor,helper at dhorji while women have to take care of the house chore. There are many dhorji inside the village but it wasn't a proper shop some are just 3 wall with a curtain to hide their design. Every month they will sell their product at a bigger market where traders from all over India will come. Some women do involves in this trade but they work from home with small amount of wages. Their bedroom is their storage, some even worse, one small room with 3 people from 3 generation living in a dark room which is their only bedroom,living,dining, and work space..there is no mattress only thin matt, I saw this with my own eyes the day I went to say goodbye.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Saying goodbye


THERE'S no use in weeping,
Though we are condemned to part:
There's such a thing as keeping
A remembrance in one's heart:

There's such a thing as dwelling
On the thought ourselves have nurs'd,
And with scorn and courage telling
The world to do its worst.


part of a poem by:
Charlotte Brontte (i'm not good in poetry, so I just cut and paste :-)

It is hard to say goodbye, but I have to let her go, after three years being my companion and now she's leaving, I know she's in a good hand of my own family.
She have been travelling with me from Kedah to Johore,from highway to ferry cruise and she almost carry a dead body when I was panic. Now I kiss her goodbye.

(thanx kinat for the photo)

Monday, August 07, 2006


.."look up to the sky and and all you see is rain, but when the clouds has blown away the sky is blue again.."
Miss Sally (SNC) thought us this song, an oldies with lyrics been modified to suits us..

But when I look up to the sky today after the rain, the sky is still grey and gloomy and hazy. Its been almost two weeks now and there is no improvement, there were times that I keep on blaming Indonesian authority for not doing enough to overcome this problem. Deep down inside I'm worry that if it keep on going like this for more than four times a year, just imagine the long term effect on us especially people with asthma and babies. Maybe this is a test not only for Indonesian who suffered from earthquake, tsunami but also a reminder to us. Maybe there things that are wrong going on ..I don't know, I'm not Nostradamus..but as human being and a Muslim I believe that there is always a reason.

May tomorrow be better so I could see the clear blue sky again.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Nothing interesting to share and last week was spent on bed with hair covered with air asam.Hopefully my little one inside is doing fine.Insyaallah. Cobbaaann...

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Susah dan senang : Merantau ke Deli

"Demi Allah saya akan melindungi engkau Poniem!Dan biarlah Allah memberikan hukuman yang setimpal kepada saya, kalau saya mungkir"..

"Kau boleh pergi dari sini! Kau orang Jawa!Boleh turutkan orang Jawa, kau boleh kembali ke kebun! Sebelah mata saya tidak boleh pandang pada kau lagi. Pergilah dari sini, mulai sekarang saya jatuhkan kepada engkau talak tiga sekali. Pergilah!"

Things change with time,people change with so many reason and sometimes reason that are hard to swallow, bitter..and the sweeteness and excitement of love will just fade away. This a an extract from : Merantau ke Deli by Hamka (2002)Maybe some of us have read this book but I just finished it today after spending two day concentrating only on this book :-)

It happens everywhere in every culture and love and marriage is a sacred bonding that need to be build each day not only the first 7 months or 7 years..but forever. I have the courage to finish up this book not because of the thickness (181 pages) but it reminds me of my own friend who are still in this chaos of finding a solution to bring back the light to their marriage, at the beginning everything was so perfect with rainbows of colours and now there are only dark cloud and waiting for a disaster.

This is a good book as a guide in not only marriage but also culture where people sometimes blindly follow and push themselves hard just to please these unreasonable expectation.

"Demikianlah keretapi itu mengerjakan kewajipan yang wajib dipikul setiap hari, mengangkut dan menghantarkan, membawa dan memulangkan; baik yang berhasil maksudnya merantau ke Deli, atau yang datang kosong pulang pun kosong. Banyak yang telah pergi tetapi lebih banyak jua yang datang. Banyak yang putus asa lalu pergi, kemudian datang kembali, kerana ada pepatah orang yang telah lama tinggal di Deli : "Jika sekali air sungai Deli telah diminum, nescaya akan datang lagi dan minum lagi."

Monday, July 17, 2006

Sastera dan sejarah

Based on one research that I heard on a radio last week, women are smarter when they are pregnant..? maybe because of motherly instinct that we need to nurture, educate, cherish and love the child ,that turn a mediocre women into smarter one..I wish that it is true and I want to believe that I'm turning towards the same phase.

I just finished two books by A.Samad Said- Di Hadapan Pulau & Sungai Mengalir Lesu; the scenario and context are almost the same, revolved around suffering and hardship during Japanese occupation. It was told thru a different perspective and it was all well written. The first time I read Pak Samad books was in 1992 right after SPM and I managed to complete reading 5 of his books in three months (Salina, Langit Petang, Hujan Pagi, Sungai Mengalir Lesu and my favourite - Daerah Zeni).and also Shanon Ahmad's.I don't think whether I could have the same motivation now.

Those two books were actually not in my reading list, it's supposed to be The Fountainhead, but after awhile I felt like I don't have enough time and I don't want to waste my time searching for far and foreign literature when at the same time I don't know much about our local literature scene.Fountainhead is related to work so that could be finish up later.

My mini research are moving slowly now with 10 pages already in Words format and I'm getting more interesting info thru the internet. Next step is to contact Persatuan Sejarah Malaysia cawangan Kedah, MTPNK, Muzium Negeri and most important local people..people on the street, especially elderly..

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Sweet and Sour

The season of the year has arrived, everywhere we go there are rainbows of colours, red hairy, green spiky and golden yellow the road side, at pasar tani, nite name it..and this is the best time to pack your things and head back to kampung (especially for those who seldom have time to do it..?) jenguk-jenguklah orang tua di kampung..sambil penuhkan kereta dgn buah..;-)

Living in Alor Setar with no orchard and relying on pasar malam makes me excited when the season came. I remember when I was about 7, we had a visit from my granny who lives in Yan, she came with a gunny full of fruits especially mangosteen..she was too old for her age to take a bus ride all by herself..I hardly knew her and I think that was the last time I ever met her, and until now everytime i look at the purple fruit i will always remember her..semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atasnya.

Some people might hate the smell of durian but to me its can't we not enjoying this smooth yellow flesh with strong aroma? There are some with bright yellow and firm flesh,some with smooth and greyish flesh..there are also different names for these durian..some call it kucing tidur, maybe because of the form of each ulas. And the worst nitemare is durian with big white worm...yucckkk!!! I was told not to eat durian during this period, its too hot for pregnant woman..but different people will give different piece of said long as I take it in small amount, but I just want to be safe.

I'm not an expert in agriculture but I think there are some species of fruit trees are common in Kedah especially nipah, this is not seasonal fruit and there are easy to find along river bank, the sweet white flesh are best enjoyed with it's juice in a hot sunny day.Has anyone tried nira nipah? there's one stall before plaza tol (A.S Selatan )selling fresh nira nipah.

There's one exotic fruit that I think hard to find now, maybe some of you might came across of this 'nanam' fruit. I knew about this fruit back in the 80's somewhere in Langgar, Kedah. It looks like guava trees but we don't have to climb or used stick to pluck it because it grows at the base almost touching the ground. We can't eat it fresh but best eaten as jeruk due it its strong sour taste.. I miss my hometown and its exotic fruits..but I have to take care not to over indulged. From my MIL point of view, pregnant women or anybody who try to conceived shouldn't eat too much fruits due to it's acid level, even an apple! Contradict to medical opinion but it's up to us to whether to believe it or just to put it aside and head to durian stall..:-)

Monday, July 10, 2006

Parcel from Pg

For the last few weeks there was a chaos in Tg Tokong, everybody were thinking, cracking their head and rushing to courier service asking whether they could deliver this special parcel. They thought that they don't have enough time or maybe the recipient need it badly and urgently..But this recipient still have the patience and she could wait for another few months.

I received a phone call on Thursday asking me to go to one place in USJ9 to 'have' this replacement for the parcel that I should received from Tg Tokong, so on Friday during lunch time I went alone to that place and retrieved it..and it was totally different, but I can't complaint too much, just accept whatever come.

Received another phone call from Tg Tokong, another parcel is coming and I have to collect from the same place on Sunday..I've been waiting for this one and pray that it will be the right one.

Last nite my heart was beating so fast, waiting for hubby to collect my parcel..It was around 10.30pm and finally I got my long-awaited parcel..
..Sambal Tumis ikan masin with pajeri mangga...I had two plate of rice..legaa..Alhamdulillah harap-harap baby nanti tak meleleh air liur..;-)

And this morning I had the same meal while hubby drove me to the office..

Thursday, July 06, 2006

How things has changed......

The best moment in life beside getting married and having lovely kids must be during our childhood time. Spending time studying and playing and make friend and being scold. I spend eleven long years in SNC - St Nicholas Convent (Alor Setar), a school where parents were dying to send their child in because of the system of maybe it was considered English school.

I entered SNC in the early 80's where the school church with pale looking nun were still around and we have to greet them whenever they passed by...'Good Morning sister..At those time they were many Serani student and most of them are good looking with long nice hair, properly dressed up with good command of English. I always fancy their English name : Elizabeth, Grace, Ann, Stephanie, Cheryl..and there were also Indian Christian with beautiful names like: Felomina, True Indian normally have these name : Nagarani, Telagawati, Bawani and a must have: Hemamalini, after famous Indian actress.

Those were the days when I always pretend that I was in English school in England !!(kecik-kecik dah perasan tu..)

We had a small school office for both primary and secondary, few small toilet cubicle for primary school with green field surrounded by palm trees and hibiscus, for secondary we had double storey building, pavilion, assembly hall, five nos. of food stall with 10sen drinks..and sister's house plus the church. There were lovely bell like purple flower blooming on a white trellis infront of their carporch. They also planted colourful carnation and few vege plants. It wasn't a Grade A school but it holds memory of thousands student.
It was the moment when Cindy Lauper, Bross, Alleycats rised to fame..and Abba and Carpenter song were recomposed by music teacher to suit us during music class.

Most of the system and orientation were into Western even though we follow Malaysian syllabus. English were compulsory, we even had an English Week, one will be find if she used even one Malay word and we had a class 'tulisan sambung' during primary maybe at standard 4..where you have to write an essay with proper italic font instead of one independent alphabet to construct a word.

that was then.....

this is the reality..a reality that hard to swallow..SNC is just a name, it is now Sek Kebangsaan and they have moved to other place with new modern standard design building, no more English style classroom with big doors. Things has changed to suit current demand and the old school is now just a abandoned building. Not really abandoned but taken over by some operator selling those cheap stuff..if you look at this picture from Google Earth: the green school field has turn into a pasar with blue tent..what a sad sight..the church is no longer more purple flower..I did once comment in QOTH blog on related entry that 'i hate looking at the school now, it feels like looking at your ex..'
One day I passed by the road going to the roundabout and I notice that there were still few abstract painting at the corridor..the same old painting..I almost cried..

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Terubuk masin and deep dark shaft

He arrived safely on Friday with tired face and dirty pant but extra luggage with sourvenirs, buah salak (pi jauh2 beli buah salak) and ikan terubuk masin. He was so excited telling me how he went to that huge site and how they went into 70 meter (at first i thought it is just 15 or 17 feet )deep dark shaft. I know it was his opportunity to learn and explore new things but looking at the photo and heard about their guide who almost faint because of the pressure down there and maybe lack of oxygen enough to make me nervous.

(*this is the only photo that i could attached, the rest kena minta permission dulu :-)

Before he came back I craved for ikan masin and now ikan terubuk masin is still in the freezer untouch ! dah depan mata tak nak makan pulak..any good terubuk masin recipe? or just fry with onion..yumyum

Thursday, June 29, 2006


I'm not a big fan of any 'super'-man', man that could fly with his underwear outside from one tower to the other, or man that could transform his flat chest to a muscular and green body..but I do enjoy watching them..NO..I'm not going to give a review about the latest movie. I just wish that my hubby could be a superman.hehehe..

Minus the blue suit, I wish that he take extra care of his safety today while walking more than 15 feet down inside a tunnel in Bakun.
He will be inspecting one of the lifting equipment and other stuff, while writing this, he's still on the way to this site.

'Semoga semuanya selamat pergi dan balik"- from both of us in Putrajaya.