Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Long distance relationship

I still remember them, still remember their warm hospitality and sacrifice..I know that it has been almost eight month now since our visit last year. Hubby and I sometimes still talking about them, cherish every moment we spend there..laugh at every jokes..and I did cry alone when I think about them. It is just a communication breakdown..long distance relationship.

Does it mean that we forgot someone when we didn't even give one phone call? Money and technology are not a problem, its all about 'language'.

Mama (my father in law) called hubby this morning and told him that Bhod Babu and their family keep asking about us and why we never call..not even once..? Why hubby and I never talk to them again...?

Language is a tool and sometimes become a barrier (what an excuse)..I only know few words and sentence, and hubby is not fluent compared to his brother. Benggali language is different from Hindi, I came across a grammar book for Hindi but not Benggali..

When we were in Calcutta, Mama and Mami will be our interpreter..I tried to speak and learn from one of the menantu there and jot down few words for my own reference, I even sketch a picture and ask their niece and nephew to help me with vocab..
Ghour = house, lal = red, upper = upstairs, mas = fish, chinglimas = prawn, bas = enough, kemano ha so = how are you?, balo ache = i'm fine, chota = small....see how poor I am..Spent 11 days and only few words that I grab..:-(
There are times that I simply speak bahasa Malaysia because I could not fine and construct any sentence..so we ended up being 'ayam dengan itik'..and sign language were useful at that time...

I understand how they feel..when you have a family who stay very far and could only meet once in 5 years, Mama left Calcutta when he was only small..in his early adolescent, left his family and relatives but I know his heart is still there. Each visit is like a final visit, we never know when will we meet again..isn't it sad..

Tonight will be the night, we will call them..shame on us..
maybe I should list down what to ask in Benggali with a translation, but what if they ask me back things that are not in my list..Hubby said: "cakap je apa-apa, dalam english pun takpe.." Come on, you can do it, this is not an examination..!!

I got 2A, 1B for my Bahasa during Oral Exam (SPM), 3A for English..so now I still have to learn new language, not one but two..going back to Penang and I shall tune to Tamil..(yena?, yare?,ayo yo ..;-)

Friday, April 21, 2006

Reality world of architecture

Alhamdullillah..things went smoothly after so many hard work and frustration. The next step is preparing myself and set a timeframe from now until 2007, the journey need to be continued, I just passed few obstacle and more to come...definitely.
Being in a male dominated industry makes people like me need to push forward harder, wiser with strategic plan and being competitive at the same time, but woman are just woman..the way we perceived things and handle stress are different, while male counterpart could just forget about it, we on the other side still thinking about it.

Creativity wise woman are at par but when it comes to technical stuff, we need to absorb more (not to generalise). I'm talking from my own personal experience where I always have the feeling of being just like them,competent, creative, independent..intelectual, rational etc..and the list goes on. Some people said that woman should have a better design flair due to our nature which are sensetive, loving and caring but the reality is way too far, being just creative or come out with excellent design is not enough. This scope is bigger than just drawing and sketching, it's a combination of art and sciences. The art of managing ourselves, communicating with clients and consultants, handling complaints and comment on our design are the elements which we hae to deal with and the sciences of it comes in technology of construction, methodology and production. Public perception to our profession are from what they see at the outer layer, where they think that it is glamourous, professional, well and highly paid..and mass media help to build this perception in tv commercial and movie.

In the last century, architect are master builder, mr-know-it-all, from fine art-design-detailing-engineering-anatomy-landscape-interior..people like Leornado Da Vincci,Raphael. Design and building requirement are different, specialiased field were limited and the client were less demanding.

Current world is more challenging, we can't just wait and see and accept whatever come our way, we need to move out and explore more, we are no longer inventor but much more like a copycat..study other peoples design, change a bit to suit the site, budget and design brief..

Since this is what I choosed to be, I will go for it..no matter what.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Roller coaster ride..

Things happen for a reason, life is not always turn out the way we want it to be.Sometimes the best thing could come out from what we thought bitter to swallow. Last week I was on a roller coaster ride at more than 110mph..feels like screaming out loud but my voice stuck half way my throat..blood rushed to my face..No, I wasn't at Genting or any fun fair, but stuck with b@$#^* people who never understand or bother to follow rules and regulation, and never want to admit their mistakes.

Here I go again talking about my work..but I just want to share it and make people undestand. Some people think that money could buy anything, maybe it has become a culture now in order to get fast approval they will go to that extend..buying and selling dignity. Following the right path to our destination is no longer required in this so called money-oriented-world, if you know other alternative access even though it is illegal, you just go that way..and to make it worst people behind the door would simply allow these people in and leaving the rest who used the old path to keep on waiting and waiting..until only God knows..it is not fair for the later who try to follow rules that has been set out. Is it fair for people who try to be on right track to take all the blame for not going off track like what they did...

To this people, local authority are just people who wants to grab some opportunity and easy money. Maybe some, but we can't generalized just because of one bad apple..

It almost passed my limit, I've been compromising a lot, following what they want..things are not in order, insufficient document, rules has been bend, and left only on paper..and I don't want to look like fool when I have to present things which is incomplete,half way done and everything totally jumble up..like rojak, pasembor, fruit cake....

It has cloud my life the whole weekend, thinking about what might happen today. I have projected what could turn out and after Subuh prayer I just pray for the best, I will take whatever come my way..even if I were given to take it or leave it.

Alhamdulillah..now its 5.40pm..I've overcome the obstacle, I've choosed my path and at the same without leaving any negative impact on anybody...its worth it to be patience and leave it the Almighty to open the path..
I will proceed working on it but on my own way!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Misleading route

Gospel of Judas:
I watch National Geographic Investigation on manuscript that believed as Gospel of Judas, and a team of expert and scholars were trying to proof that those are authentic manuscript. The way they reconstruct the whole story plot from where the gospel has been found,black market of antiquity, technique of carbon dating and putting these fragile papyrus paper together was great and outstanding with help of technology and of course big budget have been allocated for this investigation.

Gospel of Judas was thrown away by orthodox church who believed that Judas has betrayed Jesus and he was responsible for his suffering..This is the reason that they believes this gospel was hidden for a purpose of burying the truth of what really happen after the last supper.. As we all know there are too many version of testament, everything has been revised to suit personal interest. After the death of Jesus, there were gospel of Mark, Luke, Matthew (to name a few)that has been used.

For centuries Judas (pronounced as Huda) has been labeled as evil, bad and greedy, and through this gospel they found his so called true identity and what actually happen that nite, where Jesus knew that one of his disciple will betray him and he revealed the identity of that betrayer and asked him to proceed with his task and it shows that Judas was just doing what he was asked to do..To free a soul which trap in a body..?
In one of the dialog between Jesus and Judas..Jesus was addressing him as..'Ya Judas..' (sounds like ..Ya Huda = Yahudi).

Even though they have found that the manuscript are authentic, its content doesn't cover much about history of Jesus or what so ever but it does giving new dimension of Judas which I believe this documentary is actually just another propaganda of Jewish society which are scattered in America and behind of all these mega investigation. Whether its Gospel of Judas, Mark or Matthew or Who-ever, we should strongly believe that there is only one God and The Messiah will be sent to us..
Sometimes its hard to avoid all these intellectual, spiritual treat from our very own enemy which they try to do it slowly with careful planning, like a river flowing smoothly across the valley...This treat are nothing new in Islam, they have been trying and trying for centuries and we must be strong enough to overcome whatever coming our way..I am not good in this philosophy or tassawuf or religious matter, but this is the only thing I could share with fellow blogger..

For futher reading, I would suggest this book: Jerusalem in the Quran by Imran N.Hossein, its a good book..

Salam Maulidur Rasul to all..

P/S Please correct me if I'm wrong in translating the whole concept

Friday, April 07, 2006

My precious..

...precious gift from lovely husband on my birthday..thank you..
love you so much, may this year will bring us more happiness..

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Hope and dream

..F R U S T R A T I ON..

Monday, April 03, 2006

Colours of Life

I'm always amused by any dot, splashes or stroke of colours, from soothing blue, to fresh green and mysterious black to feminine purple. Colours have been proved could be a therapeutic agent, or healing power.The substance believed could stimulate our mind and senses, from gloomy to sunny mood, from dark to bright hue.

Some believe that black is associated with evil, black magic, black metal, voodoo..Some creepy and dark world, but black also on the other hand could accentuated ones figure, that is why we have little black dress.

Red wether its chilli red or blood red is hot and sensual, people who wear red outfit normally considered as trying to seek for attention. It also reflect fast and furious action for example The red team of F1. In Benggali language red is called 'lal'=ang=merah.

Colour that we thought fresh is green, lime green, apple green, floresence green, neon green, PAS green..sometimes green is soothing to our eyes but at certain times its shocking and irritating, green was the colour for everything for the last 2/3 years, from wedding to house decoration people are crazy over this colour.Kedah is the best palce to see a changes of colour every few months, from musim membajak, menanam and menuai (harvest season).

All my life I'm attached to black, head scarf, shirt, pants, handbag, eyeliner, ring..I was the girl who people known as the one who always wear black, so it was easy to recognized me, but that doesn't mean that I live in a dark world or practised any black magic..its kind of safe feeling wearing this colour, and to me it looks strong and to be frank I like the idea of looking mysterious..the crow has inspired me a lot.. Been in this industry where colours play an important role, its interesting to discover new hue and tone, red is not just plain red or primary red: it could be earth red, brick red, heritage red, signal red..and blue are more than just the blue sky: they have baby blue, forget-me-not blue (suitable for a clinic-thanx to Dr Halim-Medivron Putrajaya), cobalt blue, ocean blue, coral blue..bukan otak b@%* sudah...;-)

There are times it's quite hard to choose and determined which colour could match each element, for women we have so many pallette to choose from smokey effect of eyeliner to clean and natural make up to couture concept, there are millions of shades to experiment with. Our life is never boring, so colourful.

I've come out from my all black closet since last two years..black is still my main choice but with a dash of other colour to brighten up my day, no more all black outfit with brown lipstick...

Sunday Morning

I woke up and couldn't find my handphone to check the time, the room looks cozy and I could feel a damp air inside the room..stroke my hand on the new bedsheet lazily..it feels like we have been sleeping in air-condition room, but to our surprised, it was actually splashes of rainwater..I walk to the window, staring at the road down there looking for evidence of early morning rain, the road looks dry like there was no rain pouring down for the last few hours....maybe its the material of the bedsheet, so I thought, and continue my sleep for another 30 minutes...