Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Long distance relationship

I still remember them, still remember their warm hospitality and sacrifice..I know that it has been almost eight month now since our visit last year. Hubby and I sometimes still talking about them, cherish every moment we spend there..laugh at every jokes..and I did cry alone when I think about them. It is just a communication breakdown..long distance relationship.

Does it mean that we forgot someone when we didn't even give one phone call? Money and technology are not a problem, its all about 'language'.

Mama (my father in law) called hubby this morning and told him that Bhod Babu and their family keep asking about us and why we never call..not even once..? Why hubby and I never talk to them again...?

Language is a tool and sometimes become a barrier (what an excuse)..I only know few words and sentence, and hubby is not fluent compared to his brother. Benggali language is different from Hindi, I came across a grammar book for Hindi but not Benggali..

When we were in Calcutta, Mama and Mami will be our interpreter..I tried to speak and learn from one of the menantu there and jot down few words for my own reference, I even sketch a picture and ask their niece and nephew to help me with vocab..
Ghour = house, lal = red, upper = upstairs, mas = fish, chinglimas = prawn, bas = enough, kemano ha so = how are you?, balo ache = i'm fine, chota = small....see how poor I am..Spent 11 days and only few words that I grab..:-(
There are times that I simply speak bahasa Malaysia because I could not fine and construct any sentence..so we ended up being 'ayam dengan itik'..and sign language were useful at that time...

I understand how they feel..when you have a family who stay very far and could only meet once in 5 years, Mama left Calcutta when he was only small..in his early adolescent, left his family and relatives but I know his heart is still there. Each visit is like a final visit, we never know when will we meet again..isn't it sad..

Tonight will be the night, we will call them..shame on us..
maybe I should list down what to ask in Benggali with a translation, but what if they ask me back things that are not in my list..Hubby said: "cakap je apa-apa, dalam english pun takpe.." Come on, you can do it, this is not an examination..!!

I got 2A, 1B for my Bahasa during Oral Exam (SPM), 3A for English..so now I still have to learn new language, not one but two..going back to Penang and I shall tune to Tamil..(yena?, yare?,ayo yo ..;-)


mommamia said...

Trav,yr hubby is peranakan hindi ke?wah,i imagine bollywood star la!anyway gd luck for the call tonite,never mind bout the communication problem,the thought that matters rite?

sue said...

his father is a benggali from calcutta, mom org sini..nothing bollywood..:-)
nervous juga ni..

anggerik merah said...

Trav, tergelak baca the last sentence tu..
Interesting experience you have with in law's family in India. I can imagine hw difficult it is to communicate when we cannot understand the language. But it can be very interesting!

thewailer said...

you proved a point, love has no linguistic barrier :)

sue said...

memang kdg2 funny juga bila i try to speak tamil in penang at times when they didn't expect..sebutan dan bunyi lain so maksud jadi lain pulak..
yg bahasa benggali pula, kalau nak tau, cuba dengar bangla cakap..haa mcm tu la bunyi nye..:-)

sometimes love hard to express with words..

Nong said...

Trav, dulu masa baru2 kawin dulu i selalu rasa serba salah kalau balik rumah in-laws. FIL orang jawa, cakap pekat kalah bahasa jerman. Parents MIL pulak keturunan pakistan.

Hubby no help at all. Tak tahu langsung. At least i belajar gak sepatah dua...

sue said...

marriage is about accepting and exploring new things, not only Him but his whole kaum kerabat..

kita sama je,..my hubby pun tak pandai sgt..sikit2 boleh la dia faham.

wow..u skrg mesti dah multi language ye, jawa and pakistan..;-)

simah said...

i just read this entry....so hubby u org peranakan..u orang apa pulak? i mean bangsa u..(just curious)..

i can relate to ur story...esp when i first came to istanbul....it can be really frustrating to try to communicate with someone who speaks another language than urs kan? so hows ur benggali n tamil now?