Saying goodbye

Parting


THERE'S no use in weeping,
Though we are condemned to part:
There's such a thing as keeping
A remembrance in one's heart:

There's such a thing as dwelling
On the thought ourselves have nurs'd,
And with scorn and courage telling
The world to do its worst.

....

part of a poem by:
Charlotte Brontte (i'm not good in poetry, so I just cut and paste :-)

It is hard to say goodbye, but I have to let her go, after three years being my companion and now she's leaving, I know she's in a good hand of my own family.
She have been travelling with me from Kedah to Johore,from highway to ferry cruise and she almost carry a dead body when I was panic. Now I kiss her goodbye.













(thanx kinat for the photo)

Sky

.."look up to the sky and and all you see is rain, but when the clouds has blown away the sky is blue again.."
Miss Sally (SNC) thought us this song, an oldies with lyrics been modified to suits us..

But when I look up to the sky today after the rain, the sky is still grey and gloomy and hazy. Its been almost two weeks now and there is no improvement, there were times that I keep on blaming Indonesian authority for not doing enough to overcome this problem. Deep down inside I'm worry that if it keep on going like this for more than four times a year, just imagine the long term effect on us especially people with asthma and babies. Maybe this is a test not only for Indonesian who suffered from earthquake, tsunami but also a reminder to us. Maybe there things that are wrong going on ..I don't know, I'm not Nostradamus..but as human being and a Muslim I believe that there is always a reason.

May tomorrow be better so I could see the clear blue sky again.

Sick

Nothing interesting to share and last week was spent on bed with hair covered with air asam.Hopefully my little one inside is doing fine.Insyaallah. Cobbaaann...

Susah dan senang : Merantau ke Deli

Sebelum
"Demi Allah saya akan melindungi engkau Poniem!Dan biarlah Allah memberikan hukuman yang setimpal kepada saya, kalau saya mungkir"..

Selepas
"Kau boleh pergi dari sini! Kau orang Jawa!Boleh turutkan orang Jawa, kau boleh kembali ke kebun! Sebelah mata saya tidak boleh pandang pada kau lagi. Pergilah dari sini, mulai sekarang saya jatuhkan kepada engkau talak tiga sekali. Pergilah!"

Things change with time,people change with so many reason and sometimes reason that are hard to swallow, bitter..and the sweeteness and excitement of love will just fade away. This a an extract from : Merantau ke Deli by Hamka (2002)Maybe some of us have read this book but I just finished it today after spending two day concentrating only on this book :-)

It happens everywhere in every culture and love and marriage is a sacred bonding that need to be build each day not only the first 7 months or 7 years..but forever. I have the courage to finish up this book not because of the thickness (181 pages) but it reminds me of my own friend who are still in this chaos of finding a solution to bring back the light to their marriage, at the beginning everything was so perfect with rainbows of colours and now there are only dark cloud and waiting for a disaster.

This is a good book as a guide in not only marriage but also culture where people sometimes blindly follow and push themselves hard just to please these unreasonable expectation.

"Demikianlah keretapi itu mengerjakan kewajipan yang wajib dipikul setiap hari, mengangkut dan menghantarkan, membawa dan memulangkan; baik yang berhasil maksudnya merantau ke Deli, atau yang datang kosong pulang pun kosong. Banyak yang telah pergi tetapi lebih banyak jua yang datang. Banyak yang putus asa lalu pergi, kemudian datang kembali, kerana ada pepatah orang yang telah lama tinggal di Deli : "Jika sekali air sungai Deli telah diminum, nescaya akan datang lagi dan minum lagi."

Sastera dan sejarah

Based on one research that I heard on a radio last week, women are smarter when they are pregnant..? maybe because of motherly instinct that we need to nurture, educate, cherish and love the child ,that turn a mediocre women into smarter one..I wish that it is true and I want to believe that I'm turning towards the same phase.

I just finished two books by A.Samad Said- Di Hadapan Pulau & Sungai Mengalir Lesu; the scenario and context are almost the same, revolved around suffering and hardship during Japanese occupation. It was told thru a different perspective and it was all well written. The first time I read Pak Samad books was in 1992 right after SPM and I managed to complete reading 5 of his books in three months (Salina, Langit Petang, Hujan Pagi, Sungai Mengalir Lesu and my favourite - Daerah Zeni).and also Shanon Ahmad's.I don't think whether I could have the same motivation now.

Those two books were actually not in my reading list, it's supposed to be The Fountainhead, but after awhile I felt like I don't have enough time and I don't want to waste my time searching for far and foreign literature when at the same time I don't know much about our local literature scene.Fountainhead is related to work so that could be finish up later.

My mini research are moving slowly now with 10 pages already in Words format and I'm getting more interesting info thru the internet. Next step is to contact Persatuan Sejarah Malaysia cawangan Kedah, MTPNK, Muzium Negeri and most important local people..people on the street, especially elderly..

Sweet and Sour

The season of the year has arrived, everywhere we go there are rainbows of colours, red hairy, green spiky and golden yellow jack..by the road side, at pasar tani, nite market..you name it..and this is the best time to pack your things and head back to kampung (especially for those who seldom have time to do it..?) jenguk-jenguklah orang tua di kampung..sambil penuhkan kereta dgn buah..;-)

Living in Alor Setar with no orchard and relying on pasar malam makes me excited when the season came. I remember when I was about 7, we had a visit from my granny who lives in Yan, she came with a gunny full of fruits especially mangosteen..she was too old for her age to take a bus ride all by herself..I hardly knew her and I think that was the last time I ever met her, and until now everytime i look at the purple fruit i will always remember her..semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atasnya.

Some people might hate the smell of durian but to me its heavenly..how can't we not enjoying this smooth yellow flesh with strong aroma? There are some with bright yellow and firm flesh,some with smooth and greyish flesh..there are also different names for these durian..some call it kucing tidur, maybe because of the form of each ulas. And the worst nitemare is durian with big white worm...yucckkk!!! I was told not to eat durian during this period, its too hot for pregnant woman..but different people will give different piece of advice..mom said ok..as long as I take it in small amount, but I just want to be safe.

I'm not an expert in agriculture but I think there are some species of fruit trees are common in Kedah especially nipah, this is not seasonal fruit and there are easy to find along river bank, the sweet white flesh are best enjoyed with it's juice in a hot sunny day.Has anyone tried nira nipah? there's one stall before plaza tol (A.S Selatan )selling fresh nira nipah.

There's one exotic fruit that I think hard to find now, maybe some of you might came across of this 'nanam' fruit. I knew about this fruit back in the 80's somewhere in Langgar, Kedah. It looks like guava trees but we don't have to climb or used stick to pluck it because it grows at the base almost touching the ground. We can't eat it fresh but best eaten as jeruk due it its strong sour taste..

Hmmm..how I miss my hometown and its exotic fruits..but I have to take care not to over indulged. From my MIL point of view, pregnant women or anybody who try to conceived shouldn't eat too much fruits due to it's acid level, even an apple! Contradict to medical opinion but it's up to us to whether to believe it or just to put it aside and head to durian stall..:-)

Parcel from Pg

For the last few weeks there was a chaos in Tg Tokong, everybody were thinking, cracking their head and rushing to courier service asking whether they could deliver this special parcel. They thought that they don't have enough time or maybe the recipient need it badly and urgently..But this recipient still have the patience and she could wait for another few months.

I received a phone call on Thursday asking me to go to one place in USJ9 to 'have' this replacement for the parcel that I should received from Tg Tokong, so on Friday during lunch time I went alone to that place and retrieved it..and it was totally different, but I can't complaint too much, just accept whatever come.

Received another phone call from Tg Tokong, another parcel is coming and I have to collect from the same place on Sunday..I've been waiting for this one and pray that it will be the right one.

Last nite my heart was beating so fast, waiting for hubby to collect my parcel..It was around 10.30pm and finally I got my long-awaited parcel..
..Sambal Tumis ikan masin with pajeri mangga...I had two plate of rice..legaa..Alhamdulillah harap-harap baby nanti tak meleleh air liur..;-)

And this morning I had the same meal while hubby drove me to the office..

How things has changed......

The best moment in life beside getting married and having lovely kids must be during our childhood time. Spending time studying and playing and make friend and being scold. I spend eleven long years in SNC - St Nicholas Convent (Alor Setar), a school where parents were dying to send their child in because of the system of maybe it was considered English school.

I entered SNC in the early 80's where the school church with pale looking nun were still around and we have to greet them whenever they passed by...'Good Morning sister..At those time they were many Serani student and most of them are good looking with long nice hair, properly dressed up with good command of English. I always fancy their English name : Elizabeth, Grace, Ann, Stephanie, Cheryl..and there were also Indian Christian with beautiful names like: Felomina, True Indian normally have these name : Nagarani, Telagawati, Bawani and a must have: Hemamalini, after famous Indian actress.

Those were the days when I always pretend that I was in English school in England !!(kecik-kecik dah perasan tu..)

We had a small school office for both primary and secondary, few small toilet cubicle for primary school with green field surrounded by palm trees and hibiscus, for secondary we had double storey building, pavilion, assembly hall, five nos. of food stall with 10sen drinks..and sister's house plus the church. There were lovely bell like purple flower blooming on a white trellis infront of their carporch. They also planted colourful carnation and few vege plants. It wasn't a Grade A school but it holds memory of thousands student.
It was the moment when Cindy Lauper, Bross, Alleycats rised to fame..and Abba and Carpenter song were recomposed by music teacher to suit us during music class.

Most of the system and orientation were into Western even though we follow Malaysian syllabus. English were compulsory, we even had an English Week, one will be find if she used even one Malay word and we had a class 'tulisan sambung' during primary maybe at standard 4..where you have to write an essay with proper italic font instead of one independent alphabet to construct a word.

that was then.....

this is the reality..a reality that hard to swallow..SNC is just a name, it is now Sek Kebangsaan and they have moved to other place with new modern standard design building, no more English style classroom with big doors. Things has changed to suit current demand and the old school is now just a abandoned building. Not really abandoned but taken over by some operator selling those cheap stuff..if you look at this picture from Google Earth: the green school field has turn into a pasar with blue tent..what a sad sight..the church is no longer there..no more purple flower..I did once comment in QOTH blog on related entry that 'i hate looking at the school now, it feels like looking at your ex..'
One day I passed by the road going to the roundabout and I notice that there were still few abstract painting at the corridor..the same old painting..I almost cried..

Terubuk masin and deep dark shaft

He arrived safely on Friday with tired face and dirty pant but extra luggage with sourvenirs, buah salak (pi jauh2 beli buah salak) and ikan terubuk masin. He was so excited telling me how he went to that huge site and how they went into 70 meter (at first i thought it is just 15 or 17 feet )deep dark shaft. I know it was his opportunity to learn and explore new things but looking at the photo and heard about their guide who almost faint because of the pressure down there and maybe lack of oxygen enough to make me nervous.

(*this is the only photo that i could attached, the rest kena minta permission dulu :-)

Before he came back I craved for ikan masin and now ikan terubuk masin is still in the freezer untouch ! dah depan mata tak nak makan pulak..any good terubuk masin recipe? or just fry with onion..yumyum

Super-Man

I'm not a big fan of any 'super'-man', man that could fly with his underwear outside from one tower to the other, or man that could transform his flat chest to a muscular and green body..but I do enjoy watching them..NO..I'm not going to give a review about the latest movie. I just wish that my hubby could be a superman.hehehe..

Minus the blue suit, I wish that he take extra care of his safety today while walking more than 15 feet down inside a tunnel in Bakun.
He will be inspecting one of the lifting equipment and other stuff, while writing this, he's still on the way to this site.

'Semoga semuanya selamat pergi dan balik"- from both of us in Putrajaya.

Up and down

Precious things are hard to get, but when you have it in a hard way you know that it's going to be like a big great thing compared to other valuable things in life. Here I am enjoying this moment and at the same time worrying about what could happen if I make one silly mistake.

The last few days was a nightmare..I noticed there was a pink spot and realized that it might be something abnormal, I just pray that everything will be ok and hope that God will give me a chance to sail smoothly in this new journey.

SUNDAY:

On clear Sunday morning we went to the emergency ward, I was so nervous..Few minutes waiting before the triage session was like days waiting for uncertainty. I was called to the other department alone..Laying on hospital bed and thinking and praying..After brief diagnosed I was send to O&G ward upstairs on wheel chair, and I heard the nurse called hubby..

Another session of painless experience but for me it was horrible..I'm a bit coward when it comes to hospital equipments especially needles.

Changed to bright pink sarong and waiting for MO while I pray for the safety of my little one...I was shaking mainly because it was too cold and I'm too skinny. I imagine that it's going to be an unpleasant experience..And it was at first but the moment I saw the image on the screen all those uncomfortable feeling fade away..Still small but I could see the heart beating fast..Alhamdulillah. That was the best moment for the first time seeing someone inside you.

MO said that nothing to worry, it just a normal thing..Syukur. I was discharged after 45 minutes investigation..

MONDAY :

Second antenatal checkup at a clinic, everything was fine except for my weight, I was supposed to gain around 0.5kg in one month in the first trimester, but I shocked to found out that I gained 1.0kg extra and the nurse mark it with red pen..I thought that I was underweight, so I keep on eating more carbo especially rice ,bread, thosai and noodles plus milk at night..hmm..Should take care of my food intake from now on. I thought that pregnant women should eat for two, but I was wrong, we should eat healthy food and gain proper weight.

I was smiling all the way to the office yesterday..

Careless

I left a bit late for work today, rushing down and by the time at the lobby, I realised thtt I forgot my car key..call hubby to pass the key and rush down again..lift stop at level 4, and there were one lady in her middle 20's with two small boys enter the lift(deep down inside I felt that she didn't care much about them, I don't know what it is but something is not right)..the lil brother look cheerful..thumping his leg and make faces..I just smile at these cheeky boy..he placed his right hand onto lift door and still playfully teasing his big bro..

The lift stop at level 1..and the lady still didn't care about that lil boy..lift door open and his hand were still there and stuck in between the panel and the door!!! He scream..and I shouted at her.."tangan tu..!!!"..she just quickly walk out and carry the crying boy..and the big brother was also panic.."kenapa kakak?"...I don't know whether she's a maid or their aunty, but one day if I met their parents I will surely report this.Not that I'm being kepoh but they need to know what is happening........or maybe the big bro has told their mom..

What if the worst thing happen? Only God knows..

..That L-shape room..

As a human being good sunny day, fresh breeze of air and a good view are essential things that enhance our life apart from other basic necessity. Imagine yourself in a room less than 70sqft, L-shape with one door and no window to enjoy outside view and no morning fresh scent..Can you put yourself in this situation? One need not to be a well educated or have any basic design knowledge to understand this..

But what if a person who have been in this business for more than 10 years and so called 'professional' and practicing architect as well as a principal with foreign training, with books around him all the time decide a design this kind of space????..A house is a space for people to live in..!!It is a habitable space, therefore it need to be pleasantly design, well ventilated and have ample lighting, complying to at least basic design standard and requirement and also authority requirement.

Some people are just stubborn or maybe they can't accept the fact that their idea is wrong..Even though you highlight and comment so many times..If he is just a freshie, I think that should be fine, maybe he's not sure due to lack of experience..But in this case; a principal who used to be a lecturer could design and trying so hard to defend his stupid and wrong idea..Even a dog house need a proper design..

Or is it just because that L-shape room is just for a maid and we think that she is just a worker who need to work all day and night..Double standard!!! His only judgement and statement is this: "they are supposed to be working, not sleeping.."..Maybe he should left his design table and his Lamy Pen..And stop talking s#*t about design principle..Go and do something else..And don't spoil the whole industry...

I'm not sad about our client's maid, but I'm sad because we have this kind of people who have a lot of money, went for oversea education, came back as a professional and practicing in this country and at the end making all the mess..And complaint too much about requirement, regulation, mindset, standard of everything..hampeh..

Even a homeless can define what is habitable space..........

Mech.

It is a good sunny saturday with blue sky and pleasant weather..not too hot but just good enough to start a weekend.Thank you fellow friends for the wish and tips.

I'm going to guide you into a journey of the other side of the world..and it's not going to be another piece on 'architecture', but something totally different. How many of us really know or understand about Mechanical Engineering or What does DOSH means (except people who are in this industry..)to some people including me, Mech.Engr is just a small scope or just electronic stuff and gadget and boring calculation. The whole perception changed when I first met my husband, through him i understand that it is more than just what i thought, it is a wider perspective and there are many branch and route compared to architecture (for example), you deal with building and interior design but of course you could divert into fine art or other major but that will take another years at uni to have a formal qualification.

I came to realised the reality of this when he joined DOSH (Dept.of Safety and Health) and it opened a window of opportunity to know more than what i perceived. If you are in Mechanical you can jump into building, oil and gas, lift and tower crane, UPV, hygeine and the list goes on..That means people who took Mech.Engr would have wider choice and better prospect after they graduate and no need to worry too much about economic slump. In my position right now, I'm concerned about current economic scenario because our industry are depending on financial condition and decision. If its rough time and the client think that they want to hold it until next year then i'm toast..!!Less work means the company will start looking for your mistakes and try to save their a^s by kicking you out...

Moral of the story is, let your children, niece, cousin, friends or whoever still searching for direction to try consider this field..it's really interesting and challenging even though there are certain area that are quite risky.

I too had a sleepless night when hubby said that he's going for inspection..if its just a newly completed conventional building, then no problem..but if he were to go to risky and flammable or explosive or hazardous place..all I could do is pray for his safety. (Remember the explosion at Fatty Chemical, Butterworth early this year..? this is what makes me worry..& Plaza Damas incident?)


Maybe this not a perfect post for a great weekend..too serious kind of thing

Nightmare

Is it a mind game or is it a sign..this has made me worry for few days..i keep on dreaming of the same thing in a different plot..or is it because i'm too tired. What shall i do?

Sunset: Putrajaya

Since i'm gonna spend the whole day at home today, i think i will indulged myself surfing and blogging..sampai muak!!





I'm very grateful to have a room with a view like this in Putrajaya, not only I could see hubby's office but more than concrete building, its the lovely sunset. I've post some photo few months ago, but these were took last month. I like the cloud formation, sometimes it turn into a funny form or character and it took just a few minutes to change into some other form.

I remember during my childhood time, laying on a wooden floor at my grandma's house with my feet on the window staring at the blue sky and lost myself in my own imagination..i imagined that the cloud will keep on changing to amused this little girl until she fall asleep..



note: Doa ketika memandang ke langit:"Allah jualah yang menciptakan langit dan buni, dan menurunkan hujan dari langit lalu mengeluarkan dengan air hujan itu buah-buahan untuk menjadi makanan bagi kamu; dan Ia yang memberi kemudahan kpd kamu menggunakan kapal-kapal utk belayar di laut dengan perintahNya, juga yang memudahkan sungai-sungai utk kamu (mengambil manfaat darinya). Dan Ia juga yang menjadikan matahari dan bulan sentiasa beredar, utk kepentingan kemudahan kamu, dan yang menjadikan malam dan siang bagi faedah hidup kamu" (Surah Ibrahim :14:32-33)

Part of a new chapter

Life are full of surprises and sometimes just like a thick novel (not Mills and Boone)..first chapter might be a bit slow or boring, and the next one might be more thrilling when the plot thicken...the last few weeks has been a mix of everything..of course good news that by now everybody..almost i think..have heard of it..it was a surreal moment for me, in between believing and trying to accept the unknown..Alhamdulillah.

The other chapter of the story is about my friend who are now in Mahkota Medical Centre, hospitalised for maybe three months with her wife- tragic accident on the 2nd June 2006, a car accident involving 5 cars somewhere heading to Melaka..they were badly injured, the husband broke his pelvis and the wife broke her femur..it was supposed to be a holiday treat for both of them but than turn out to be like this, wish they will get well soon..i heard from a friend that his Gen2 was damaged about 1/3..

These chapter is something new to me..a new beginning i might say, i always ended up with lack of sleep almost everyday, had a nightmare which i think is normal.. i'm not sure but did check in some books, which they said are normal because of anxiety, tiredness or maybe tak basuh kaki..hmmm, pantang tengok movie, CSI ke..pastu semua terbawa-bawa dalam tidur..and i tend to wake up around 4 am to p^^..memang macam ni eh..?..anyway i'm enjoying this new chapter of my life..Insyallah, hope it will be another 31 weeks of sweetness...

As for hubby, hahaa..his schedule has changed a lot to suit my time and condition, pi mai pi mai kat LDP (tol rm4 times 2)..no more tea at mamak's place after work and...he have to sacrifice a lot lately including his dragon boat practice and other outdoor stuff. Life change, love bloom..

Craving

Maybe this is how other people feel..or maybe i'm too homesick or too emotional or maybe too hungry..feel like crying...i wish i can have sambal tumis ikan masin (MIL Style) with tairu mix with onion and red chilli...

+ v e

How to solve those two entry:

First entry: the title is : T E S T: NILE FAINT...what test that u have to perform and the result will appear either definite negative or positive..or sometimes depends on the levels of the substance..if its still very low than the result is a bit blur... N I L E = LINE, FAINT = FAINT----->line faint?....rearrange and u'll got this : FAINT LINE

Second entry: title : TRAVERAMA : travel related story : yes,but not really a trip as in travel and tour..a journey from nothing to something, 0-->1,
transition and evolution : slim-->chubby, skinny--->curvy, small--->big,
close at heart companion : something inside you that is located near your heart physically and emotionally..a small thing..
when the time come : dengan izin Allah (what i wish for has been granted..Alhamdulillah..)
'T O N E' = note, faded hue has been replaced by strong colour: answer-->return to first paragraph of this entry.

Traverama

This blog is supposed to be a travel related blog, but along the way the train off track..salah track atau salah stationmaster atau salah kapten..tapi takpe, life is a journey, everyday is a new episode with different experience, we travel from one point to another..from single to a lifetime commitment..transition and evolution.. everything has been well planned for us, it is a matter of time. When the time come, only then it will begin..

And the time has come for me to grab my bag and enjoy the journey..a memorable travel experience will be documented and share with the blogsphere..this time around i will have a close at heart companion.

T O N E : faded hue has been replaced by strong colour (ada orang tu <S**AH> kena crack her head again...)