R.I.P....

I don't know whether it's just my feeling or what. its been 2 years after that unforgetable experience at Park View apartment, Kelana Jaya, I sometimes still afraid of shadow and still cover my face with pillows and I need to cover my feet with a blanket as well (old folks says it was 'badi'..I don't know..), and I still anxious whenever I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth; because that was the last thing that I did that horrible nite before I go to bed.
Nov 2003 (Ramadan)--SS 5A:
I just moved in to that house that same nite after looking around SS5A for a decent room with nice housemate. I was so desperate to move in and I thought that it was a good choice renting a room and staying with a family of three instead of staying with other tenant. She's a single mother with one daughter age around 20 plus and a boy age 11 or 12, and I don't know whether she's working or what but what I noticed was she had full wall of souvenirs from oversea and a big aquarium. I assumed that she was an educated person from the way she talk. After explaining about house rules and everything, I ask her permission to go out to meet my friend at nearby restaurant and I promised myself that I will come back before 12 o'clock.

so, after few drinks of tea and plain water at mamak restaurant, I excuse my self due to my promise to impress her even though my friend insisted me to stay a bit longer. Almost 12 midnite I entered the house, and I saw her bedroom door half open with the lights still on. I thought maybe she's still waiting for me,so I went straight into my small room, changed my dress and went to the bathroom to fresh up. I still saw her door half open and I could hear her coughing. I just knew that the three of them stayed in one room, I wonder why coz there are another two room. But then I didn't bother much because I was terribly sleepy. So there I was laying on my back looking at the ceiling and thinking that this is the best room I have ever rented with full furniture, swimming pool (even though I can't swim), helpful security staff and I felt secure that nite and I thought that I could have a good sleep compared to the last 3 months.
I was still at my semi-concious state when I heard a strange sound outside, it was like people talking and crying at the same time and a girl's voice pleaded for something. At first I thought that lower floor resident was fighting, but then I realised that the sound actually came from our house. Oh God, this is bad, I thought that she abused her children, I was so scared and still hear them crying and I pray to God that she wont hurt them ...Suddenly somebody knock my door hardly and calling me..'kakak!!kakak!!..Now what??..I wasn't sure whether I should open that door or not, but her cry made me open the door..And all she could say was..'mak....', I rushed to their room and I saw her laying on the floor with blood everywhere and suddenly a bubble of blood came out from her mouth..!! I was panic, scared, it was a mix emotion, I don't know what to do and I ran outside of the room crying out loud..I can't think of anything, what to do? Should I call somebody or go back to her and do something..?My heart was beating so fast as my tears running on cheek..I went back into her room and we tried to lift her, at that moment I think she was still alive but we don't have the strength so we left her at the same spot and I noticed the bathroom floor was flooded with her blood..I asked her children to stay with her while I call ambulance, my fiance and security. Its unfortunate for us because the private hospital can't send us an ambulance, and it was hard to explain what actually happen at that time..We were still panic but I managed to asked for help from neighbours (we are the only Malay at that floor),when they came in and saw her on the floor most of them just say..'aiya!!'..They refused to carry her to the living area, God!!At that time I know that we need to live in our own community if not 100% at least few.
I managed to composed myself when the neighbours came and I told them that I will bring my car and we'll send her to the hospital no matter what, I've laid old newspaper in my car and rushed back upstairs. By that time she has left us, I checked her pulse and her feet was so cold with her mouth still covered with blood. I just knew at that moment that their father just passed away one month ago from her son who cried.." mak..jangan tinggal kami, tunggu raya, bapa pun dah pergi, kami tak ada sapa lagi.."It was so touching to see a little boy crying for his mother..
paramedic came about 40 minutes later and they confirmed her death..It was hard for her daughter to accept but her son was so calm, he just proceed to pray and at that moment he look like a grown up who are so strong. Few family members came afterward including 2 policeman, they asked about the incident and I've showed them the bedroom and bathroom and gave brief explaination..It happen too fast. After they arranged to bring her body to her brother's house, I felt lost..Don't know where to go, should I stay or should go somewhere else. I called my friend and asked her permission to stay at her place that night, by that time it was already 2 o'clock.
I informed her nephew that I'll collect my stuff next few days after everything are in order.
I left that house around 3 o'clock without knowing her fullname, her daughter and son's name. I only knew that she's from penang and I knew that she's in peace now. I went to my friend's house with only one small bag, all the way to her house I was still crying and shocked! It was all blank, I can't think properly and I kept thinking that I should have help her, or be by her side and at least teach her to 'mengucap'. During sahur, I found it hard to eat especially the sardine gravy, coz to me it look like a blood...
I slept that nite with the light on and surah yassin on my chest, I can't closed my eyes, I was so scared...
around 8 o'clock I woke up and found that my friend has left for work and there I was alone. I can't even look at a mattress or a bathroom coz it reminds me of her house. I quickly took a shower and left for a clinic. The doctor said I might recover after two weeks or else it might last longer maybe few months or years.
that whole week I was so lost, I can't really sleep and its hard to perform at work, I could suddenly cry while driving with no particular reason. I still regret that I didn't help her much.
but now after two years, I've fully recovered even though sometimes it will cross my mind. I hope that she rest in peace..Al- Fatihah, and hope that her children will be strong enough..