Progress

Its been three months since I registered as PG at UTM, and the progress is considered slow according to my benchmark. There are times that I need to sit down and flip through books and google about many things esp terminology and terms in research. Even simple words to some like construct, hypothesis, standard deviation, correlation, conceptual framework, theoretical framework..for me, I still need to understand all these before I proceed with Literature Review. These are the foundation and its okay to walk slowly than just wait and see..

Doing PhD is not an easy journey, there are so many obstacle to face especially when it is part time mode. We need to juggle between family, work and research. Sometimes questions like "am i doing the right thing?", "why i do phd" etc will emerge. But we have to face it..

Remembering

It's been a year now ..and I can still remember every details from Observation Ward to ICU and that cold and lonely corridor to x-ray film which shown his lung full of infection. People always says that life goes on..but life goes on..surely..on a different pace now

Asthma Attack

Its a bit cold now with heavy rain this few weeks. It's a bless coz we can save electricity bill :) But the kids are sensetive to cold weather, both of them had asthma and we were stranded at Emergency Department for six hours where the observation ward was also full. Pead ward was fully occupied as well. The good thing is the environment of that asthma bay is proper and not congested with equipment unlike certain hospital.

Awana Kijal (Holiday for kids but work for me)

This is actually our overdue holiday post..it was a total holiday for them who spent 3 times at the pool and twice at the beach while I was stuck in that seminar room until midnight. We stayed at Awana Kijal for 3 days in a comfortable room with bath tub outside the bathroom..so it was perfect for them :) The journey from KL was smooth despite the first day of school holiday.

scribbling on the smooth clean beach unlike Batu Ferringhi Beach

Less crowded beach, perfect for relaxation unlike Bt Ferringhi which for me is too crowded with activities.

They really love the sand, sea and the wind..and they got what they wish for--> kepok lekor :)

PhD Journey

Life is about our journey not merely about destination..therefore I just embarked on a new journey, in academic. As a part time student that is.. I am not sure how am I going to juggle my family life, working life and studying (which will consume much more time for reading, reading and reading, writing, analyzing and bla bla bla). View from MJIIT towards UTM's new mosque..skyline of Greater Kuala Lumpur is amazing

It's not an easy journey, but I believe that Allah will lead me as He's lead me during my Master's programme..being alone with many obstacle..Alhamdulillah, my big day was last few months and here I am again, set on a new journey. As research, I chose to use my Master's topic on women's safety, I'll find the research gap and what not, expand the Literature Review (LR), download articles and journals, download whatever apps for researcher like Mendeley, read PhD blog..read PhD comics (stress medication :), read PhD facebook... I wish that I could manage my time efficiently and for that I will tawakal first and plan my journey..Amin

3rd birthday

Not a well planned birthday celebration, but we managed to make it a memorable celebration for our little princess. Families from Penang and Alor Setar were here, so its a perfect enough small event

Hope you'll become a solehah

Life is like a box of chocolate..or a fruit cake..?

Forest Gump was right..and we don't need philosophical explanation when it comes to life experience. There are many things that happen and as usual they are not as what we plan or expected. But as they says, life goes on no matter what. It's either you sink or swim and I choose to swim even though it's hard or consume more energy or facing other difficulty. There are things that should remained silent and there are things to be shared but sometimes both won't do justice.

(source:wikipedia) Fast forward, it's been a month commuting by train to KL and it wasn't something to look forward. It's 40 minutes ride with coaches pack like a sardine can and crossing the arch bridge from Bandaraya Station to Bank Negara Station is not a pleasant journey especially on rainy days when the steps are slippery and you need to mind the steps and try not to slip. And sometimes the train does not arrived on time unlike in Tokyo where they display that the train will arrive at 6.03am, and on the dot the train is in front of you. Maybe it's Malaysian time..I don't know..for now riding the train is the best option compared to driving in KL with expensive parking rate and massive jam and the longer we drive the more we contribute to carbon footprint. Due to this, more time are spend on traveling and less time for family..a dilemma of working mom

End of Academic Journey..for now..

This is the first weekend after FINAL semester and this is the end of my academic journey. Time flies really fast, and now it's no more staying up late finishing assignments, reading journals, downloading softwares etc..working in group on sustainable development...but I miss those moment. Its only two days but days without reading is meaningless.

Please ignore this messy table..our studio used to be worst than this..:)...only those who are in this line know the real meaning pf studio..(read: messy )

But I treasure the extra time that I have with the kids now. Alhamdulillah, everything are on track as blessed by HIM.

They are the happiest people when they realised that I just finished my report..and send for hardcover binding..poor kids... Treat nasi arab - lamb hanith and lamb kebab for them, its their favourite anyway..

I'm looking forward for their academic journey coz starting tommorow they'll officially start schooling session, no more transition period..that means lots of books to carry, homeworks to do for both tahfiz and Sekolah Kebangsaan...their academic session is from 7.45am until 6.30pm..what a life..i remember back then, life was easy..we went to school and back by 2pm..playing outside by 4pm..hahaa..whatever it is we'll pray for the best..

Post-ICU

“People think dreams aren't real just because they aren't made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.” --Neil Gainman I think that our mind always play trick on us. Just like the way we perceived our surrounding. Sometimes it is complicated. Our subconscious mind is even puzzling and our dreams can sometimes affect our emotion. There are times that we don't want to wake up from a good dream but sometimes we have to when it's horrible one.

Since he's been discharged from hospital, I always have a dream about him and mostly are not a good one or no bed of roses or a walk in a park kind of dream. These dreams are about him in the ICU, either the same condition or new case. I woke up feeling sad. I know that its just a dream but sometimes we need a good one too. Hopefully everything will be better when he moved here. In Sha Allah